www.jerrystout.us

“They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English. I can’t even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain’t,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be…

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk.

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So, ever wondered what the expression “Stuck on Stupid” meant ? Look no further.

The grinning idiot clinging to Je$$e Jack$on is Cindy Sheehan… the sob sister protesting the war at Bush’s ranch, who lost her son in the war, the same son she gave up in her divorce when he was 7 years old.

And by the way if you wonder why she has so much free time … she is going through another divorce right now and guess what? She is giving up custody of another son.

As Forest Gump once wisely proclaimed, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

So, anyone want to help a fella out ? Got a few extra bucks in your PayPal account just sitting there earning interest for “the man” ? C’mon and help this dude get the Mac he wants – it only takes a few clicks !

Here’s part of Stefan’s story; what he’s trying to do:

Help me switch!

I got my first computer when I was 6 years old; it was a Packard Bell rocking along at about 33 MHz. I fell in love with it. I remember how proud of myself I felt when I installed that PCI 33.6 kbps modem in there, and heard the distinct dial tones that got me connected to AOL. A few years went by and I needed more power.

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1. Ramone has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Ramone attempt before he has to reload?

2. Otis has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold? More »

… Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

10. You can trade an old .44 for a new .22.
9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.
8. If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7. Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
5. A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.
4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
3. A gun doesn’t ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
2. A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
1. You can buy a SILENCER for a gun!

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. More »