www.jerrystout.us

Mom, we love you and we miss you terribly – this years’ memory comes to you from my favorite place on earth, and yours – Anchorage, Alaska !  I can’t believe it’s been five years already since you left us for a better place.
Mom’s Memorial …

Say a hurricane is about to destroy the city you live in … two questions:

What would you do?

What would you do if you were black?

Sadly, the two questions don’t have the same answer.

To the first: Most of us would take our families out of that city quickly to protect them from danger. Then, able-bodied men would return to help others in need, as wives and others cared for children, elderly, infirm and the like. More »

Over my last 13 years as a college professor, I’ve heard some pretty wild conspiracy theories attempting to blame various social ills on white people. After hearing a particularly strange one about Hurricane Katrina – from a 20-year old white girl, no less – I decided to publish my Top Ten.

Most of these quotes are paraphrased because they were not recorded soon enough after I heard them for exact duplication. But no subtle nuance in wording can alter the idiocy these paraphrases contain. And, sadly, 100% of them come from college professors and students at our so-called institutions of higher learning. I hope they entertain you as much as they entertained me – although something tells me they will irritate more than a few readers: More »

Opening scene: Saturday night at ~8:00PM. Go to papajohns on-line to order a pizza just as we have probably 20 times before. Tick this box, uncheck that one, add this topping, add parmesean breadsticks, and add four packs of the pizza spice stuff. Submit.

Fifteen minutes later my phone rings and I get up and run in the kitchen to answer it. Hey, whadda ya know, it’s PapaJohns ! No doubt calling to let me know they’re out of something. (I swear, between them and Pizza Hut I don’t think any two places could possibly be out of more crap if they tried to be on purpose.)

Yeah, it was PapaJohns calling alright … calling to say my order didn’t go through. Here’s how the conversation went: More »

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. More »