www.jerrystout.us

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves to their stalls? But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse. You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians – it creates a hostile work environment.

What a way to start out the day – especially a Monday !  Like it wasn’t bad enough with the Blackberry going off telling me what all is broken at work before I’ve even left the house.

So we get in the car, back out of the driveway, and head out of the neighborhood.  We get on N. Monroe and get up to speed (60 or so) and my window is down about halfway and a Wasp flies in, after bouncing off something that I’m guessing was the side-view mirror, and stings me right on the side of my head !  My head is shaved so there wasn’t much “padding” to stop him.  Good GOD that hurt !  Susan must have initially thought I was spazzing out or something since I was slapping the side of my head and veering around in the lane.

I’ve been stung by Honey Bees, Yellow Jackets, and Bumble Bees – and I thought that Bumble Bee sting hurt … well, I know better now !

It’s ON now you little red Bastards !  I was content in leaving you alone if your nest was up high enough on the house to not interfere with us walking by … but that crap is coming to a screeching halt !

During a photo opportunity where there was an open microphone, Bush was heard expressing his frustration to British Prime Minister Tony Blair using the word Shit an expletive.

Bush and Blair were aware that the event was a photo opportunity and that the media was present. Blair later turned off the microphone.

Earlier in the day, Blair and Annan called for the deployment of an international force in southern Lebanon, in order to end the spiraling conflict between Israel and Hezbollah.

The text of their conversation is as follows: More »

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Ask your mother.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
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