www.jerrystout.us

Good evening, gentlemen, and get out, ladies.

On my flight to New York there must have been an Israeli in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said “occupied.”

What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
Nothing! You told her twice already!

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None!
They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

More »

Check it out – Mika got his “I’m Little But I’m Loud” video posted-up on the Philadelphia Weekly blog.

Right on, Mika, and thanks, Liz ! Well, not like you did it on our behalf … but you know.

Liz Spikol is managing editor of Philadelphia Weekly. She writes the award-winning column “The Trouble With Spikol,” which began as a chronicle of her struggle with mental illness, and has since expanded into humorous musings on everything from graphic novels to how to use a mop. This blog is about mental illness—policy, news, personal journeys and more.

The mayor of Houston Texas was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Houston. The mayor could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Houston was full of pigeon poop. The people of Houston couldn’t walk on the sidewalks or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to try to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition. “I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me five million dollars and ask one question.” The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition. More »

“France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.”

–Mark Twain

“I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.”

–General George S. Patton

“Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.”

–General Norman Schwartzkopf

“We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.”

–Marge Simpson More »

This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally in this unlikely, fictional situation in which you will have to make
a decision.

THE SITUATION

You are in New Orleans , There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. You’re a photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you’re caught in the middle of this epic disaster. You’re trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, and disappearing under the water.

THE TEST

Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is – it’s Jesse Jackson. At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

You have two options- you can save the life of the “Reverend”, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most famous men.

THE QUESTION

Here’s the question, and please give an honest answer … More »

It’s Hurricane season again – have you got your FEMA Golden Ticket ? Well, if you’re on here reading this you either (a) used your ticket from last year to get you a computer or (b) not eligible. See eligibility requirements at the bottom of the ticket.