We’ve heard it a hundred times: “BMW – The Ultimate Driving Machine”.
My thoughts used to be something along the lines of, “Those yuppie snob bastards” to put it nicely. You know the kind you usually see driving them … preppy shirt, sunglasses, blazing white teeth, and the attention span and IQ of a (insert whatever comes to mind here).
Well, a while back we came across a deal on a 2002 Mercedes Benz C240 that we couldn’t pass up. She became Gretta. She was Susan’s baby and her daily driver and she loved her. Fast forward to one day when I picked up Mike to take him to my bro-in-law’s car lot – he was getting his 350Z Vert. I was walking around looking at what he had on his lot and this beautiful little BMW caught my eye, a 2008 BMW 328i with all the amenities you could get. I made the mistake of taking a few pics of her and sending them to Susan, including the window sticker with all the options. I went back to work about 30 minutes later and noticed she was off-line so I sent her a text message asking where she headed off to … she was at the car lot ! I didn’t hear any more about it and left work that day headed for home. I got home and Susan wasn’t there (she usually beats me home). Shortly after I got there I get a phone call: “You need to come down here and sign some papers.” Yeah, she did it.
I’ve only driven Abby one time and that was just a short jaunt up the street to the store. I was thinking she drives nice and she’s quiet … and that was about the extent of it. If Susan is happy with her then so am I. After-all, I’ve got Christine – 2009 G8 GT with quite a few mods. Susan refers to her as “Abby’s brute, lesbian sister” and I’d have to agree.
Fast-forward to present day. We decide to take Abby on her first road trip up to Norris Lake in Tennessee, roughly a nine hour drive from Tallahassee. Of course this trip involved going through the two worst traffic hell holes I’ve ever been through – Atlanta and Knoxville. Now I’ve driven through most of the worst ones; LA, Dallas, Houston, S.F. Bay Area, Phoenix, and many others. All of those fail in comparison to these two. But as a side note, Dad said Memphis was worse than Knox after he arrived.
Abby was an absolute joy the entire drive and made mincemeat of the ATL traffic. I was a little tense and Susan was kinda freaking out a little but Abby was fully composed, zipping in and out of traffic with the power to keep up with the best of them in that bastard-child city. We worked our way out of ATL and headed for Knox. Luckily we hit there around 3PM so it wasn’t too bad, and veered off of the main drag to I-75 North headed to Norris Lake. Once we turned off of I-75 we were headed to the lake and got on some twisties. I’ll try and map the route of the backwoods road we were on, the best I can on a laptop with a touch pad.
The route is only about three miles long but is full of more turns that the map really shows, with a couple of hairpins thrown in. Of course we didn’t go balls-t0-the-wall through there as there are a lot of houses, blind driveways, and just the fact it was an unknown road to us, but it sure was fun. 
) Susan came back yesterday from a run to the store with a really big smile on her face (she Loves the handling of Abby) and was talking about how much fun that was. I think she should have been an F1 driver. We went out on the three mile road again today but it was drizzling and the leaves are falling – we all know that wet, slippery leaves on a curvy road with no guard rails can lead to disaster.
Alas, my actual thoughts about Abby on her first road trip:
- Exceptional car for road trips, if you don’t mind a taught suspension and more road noise/feel than, say, an old person fuddy-duddy Buick or SUV.
- Nearly silent inside with all windows up … the radio volume can be barely up and can be heard fine, as can casual conversation.
- Precision steering that is beyond compare. I’ve driven at least a hundred cars and with all of them you always have that little bit of wiggle room (steering play) that makes you slightly move the steering wheel at highway speeds to keep straight-line tracking in check. If you do this in Abby you’re headed for the other lane ! Yeah, it’s that precise – absolutely Zero steering play. I’m still trying to get used to that and it’s something you have to experience to understand I suppose.
- Fluid, smooth power from her straight six engine – something that BMW is notorious for. No buzzy sounds at high RPMs, no awkward powerbands to keep track of, and no lack of power at all whenever it’s needed. The straight six is silky smooth.
- Features and conveniences – wow, where to start. I’ll leave it at that.
- The seats can be adjusted to adjust whatever part needs adjusting. Even the lumbar support pressure can be adjusted as well as the up/down location of it.
Once we hit I-75 out of Tallahassee we put the cruise control on about 80 mph and let her rip. We got to Knoxville with about 1/8 of a tank of gas left (520 miles) so we were pulling down almost 35 mpg (34.6) at in-town and interstate speeds. Bravo !
Some will say, “OMG, repair costs are going to kill you !” Negative – all routine maintenance and any repairs are included, free of charge. Wiper blades streaking a little ? Replaced, free of charge. The C240 and 328i are animals of a completely different breed, there is no comparison other than maybe in the Features and Conveniences department.
Abby is a winner in my book, a definite winner in all aspects and in my book an Ultimate Driving Machine.
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But, no no… you discount my drive to the store entirely!
I grew up ’round these here parts, and have, in the past, been one of those locals tailgating the “slow moving traffic” ahead of me down these curvy country back roads. Since I’ve been gone so many years, though, even I had trouble keeping up on one of those roads that I knew intimately for most of my life… when driving the Sonata on them.
I thought i had lost my touch. Really, I was embarrassed that I had become a “tourist” on roads that I used to drive daily, irritating the locals who drive 70 mph on those crazy one-and-a-half lane roads. Abby showed me yesterday that it wasn’t ME, it’s YOU. I was tearing down that road yesterday, as if I’ve always lived here and knew it foot for foot. Not only did I anticipate the curves, dips, and inclines that come to TN roads like a roller coaster at Disney, so did Abby. If I, as a non-practicing Tennessee-er can navigate these roads fast enough to outrun the traffic following me, then Abby is pretty DAMN AWESOME.
Don’t tell that to Jay, though. He might revoke my Abby privileges.
Hmm, it seems like my dear Wife is throwing down the gauntlet in a way … let’s get it on !
Yeah, well… I was dreading the trip down that road this morning in the dark before dawn as we left… that is, until I remembered Abby has adaptive headlamps. Within half a mile I was tempted to say “I got dis” and evict you from the driver’s seat
but then I really just wanted to play one last time before leaving town for the drudgery of “city streets” again. If ever there was a car practically built just for the back roads around Knoxville, THIS is it.
Disclaimer: remember, she’s got the sports package so driving around Knoxville in general is no fun since the roads are maintained for crap and the suspension is really tight.